Katgrapheme is here to stay though. 

Meowrr.

You have no idea how deeply in love I am with Kang Wei. 

Happy Anniversary My Dearest Kang Wei! 

It took me two years to find this photo. I first saw it in Kinokuniya, in the photography section, under Fashion Photography. I was very into vintage fashion (photography) then. 

Either I'm an internet-retard or I'm really unlucky, I tried searching for this photo a couple of times on the net and retrieved zero results. I didn't know who the model or photographer was, then.

Oh my god, I love this photo. By ERWIN, somemore. :x Here it is, this is what I had been talking about, the model standing at the top of Eiffel Tower, flaring her dress. 

Most of the time, we deal with a lot of abstraction. Especially feelings, qualities and ideas. More often than not, these abstraction confuses us, because it's so difficult to grasp.  

Life is made simpler only when we convert abstraction into concrete matter. For example, happiness itself is a feeling, when we smile, we laugh and dance around because of this feeling, we're converting abstraction into something concrete. 

Concrete matter is easy on the eye, yet a little weighty. 

I'm not trying to be a philosopher here.

To put it plainly, I get annoyed, I get irritated, I get angry, yet I refused to show it. Concrete matters, in this case, are heavy emotions and I'm not going to let anyone carry it.

The problem here lies in how much I can carry. 

I had enough, so, how much more?

I'm bored. Ryan and Suan keep bombarding The Beatles to me. I foresee weird dreams coming again. 

这是世界上最破坏自尊心的两个字。

为了别人着想，总是要把他们的感受和利益摆第一。为了别人对自己的好感，总是要出卖自己最真实感受与感想。为了别人何更多的别人，总是要不断地重复牺牲自己，出卖自己。但就是你们无私地为你们身边思想腐烂的“朋友”做出的牺牲，才赢得每个人的认同。

你们这些可悲可笑的人们。

我这种人，倒是不同；给我好评的人就那么几个。说我坏话的人，比我头上的头发还多。我剥开了脑袋，费劲了心思，重复又重复地反省是不是我做错了什么。我改变了又改变，就为了让这些外面的人对我又好感。我尽心尽力为朋友做到我能力的极限，就为了让别人对我不能有任何意见。

但一切换来的是不平等的待遇；就为了一些思想腐烂的人，我不止遍体鳞伤，还失去了最真实的自己。到头来我还不是和那些出卖自己的人一样的可悲，更是在每个人眼里，是那最可笑，最低级的人物。

我好像小狗一样，不断地耍杂技去讨好主人。但这喜新厌旧, 以貌取狗的主人还是把我踢到一旁。因为其他的小狗，永远比我可爱。而我，只是他掌控中的看门狗，只是他发泄心情受主人踢打的出气筒。

我是切切实实跟狗一样的可悲。你发觉到了吗？

I had enough. 

I was browsing through the our photos on KW's laptop and found this. Ho gosh, see how thin my Smelly was and I still try to pinch the crap outta him!

I think I was too brutal, but I can't help it, Smelly's too adorable. :P

I miss him a lot, that's normal but the weird thing this time, is.. I miss walking around City Hall/Bugis area with him - We meandered around town while taking random street shots on film, and stop by the yummy pastry shop to grab a Chicken Mushroom Pie and a can of Coke.

I miss eating Chicken Pie and drinking bubble tea with him. I miss how he always try to do something irritating or say something nonsensical, just to get my attention and make me laugh.

We still do that every weekend, going to random places and eating wherever we go. I think of such times together, especially when I'm hungry. Yeah, I think I'm just hungry, and missing you a little too much. 

Sigh. Look what you have done; you spoilt me rotten with all the good food. 

I miss you.. >'<

He is someone I never had the chance to understand. What a person he is! Lies beneath the coarse and unrefined surface, he is a man, who is capable of ambitions and expanding his horizons. Lies beneath the profanities he spout, he is able to appreciate fine art and history.

Who really is he?

He is so strange. I can never understand men with detached personality yet the biggest irony of all, I have inherited his signature character traits.

"You are my friend, my mentor, my guide, my father. I love you."

I wish I could say that to him, but someone else came and took that away. Perhaps, the person I have yet to understand is not my father. 

It's me.

Almost a year ago, I bought my very first DSLR and the very next day I went out on a shooting spree with Alex and Ryan.

Kang Wei and I had a long day; we went to his cousin's wedding tea ceremony in the morning, then rushed over to my niece's baby boy's full month. After that, we dropped by my grandmama's place to visit her. 

A long day ended with a movie at Tampines Mall. We watched The Ugly Truth.

It was short and sweet but worth all the popcorns and kachinks. c: Day ended with sending my commando to book in and ended the well-spent day. 

Kang Wei never fail to annoy me in little tiny ways, but I'd like to think I'm just being petty and him, being annoyingly loving. 

Thank you for all these wonderful 11 months of crazy food hunt, annoying antics, unlimited hugs and kisses, comical small eyes dramas, self-ego boosting, giving me ego boost, diamond-strength patience, working hard for everything, and loving me as Kat, as Huiqi, as MeowMeow, as TUTTIKAT, as everything I am and I have. 

Oh, and not forgetting, thank you dearie, for the trip down for our big strudel feast,  no matter how much I said I was piss at you for being a lazy bum, I was really happy that we spent quality time together. 

I can only give you more support, understanding, hugs and kisses, ego boost, invigorating massages, movie watching, give in to your food craves (while I gain more weight), nag you not excessively, change my temperamental temper, being irritatingly cute, cleaning up my room, work hard for everything, making our relationship work and love you as Ho Kang Wei with small eyes, smelly armpits and sweet smile and as everything as you are and you have. 

Let's have strudels together next time. Little strudels name Naim.

HAH. <3